On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Lori Gottlieb: 7 Answers to Dating Questions You’re Afraid to Ask & How to Break Free from Relationship Timelines
Have you ever felt stuck in a negative relationship cycle? Have you ever struggled with setting boundaries in your relationships? Today, Jay welcomes back a community favorite, the renowned psychotherapist, bestselling author, and podcast host Lori Gottlieb, for an insightful chat about love, relationships, and emotional growth. Lori, best known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and as co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, brings her deep wisdom and practical advice that really hits home with listeners. Lori shares how people often step into love with unrealistic expectations, thanks to social media and pop culture. She reminds us that while the spark of initial chemistry is thrilling, true, long-lasting love thrives on a deeper connection and genuine understanding. One of the highlights is Lori’s take on “idiot compassion” versus “wise compassion.” She breaks down how real compassion means looking at ourselves honestly, recognizing our patterns, and owning our part in the relationship. This is essential for anyone feeling trapped in negative cycles. As the conversation unfolds, Jay and Lori dive into family dynamics, especially around in-laws and blending families. Lori offers practical tips on how to support your relationship while still showing respect for parents, pointing out that these challenges are usually a couple's issues, not just external ones. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations How to Practice Wise Compassion How to Break Negative Patterns How to Handle Pressure to Rush Relationships How to Prioritize Clear Communication How to Avoid Pop Culture Relationship Pitfalls How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience Remember, true connection flourishes when we commit to growth, communicate openly, and remain empathetic to both ourselves and others. Every step taken toward understanding and compassion brings you closer to creating a life filled with genuine, lasting connections. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:29 What is Everyone Doing at My Age? 05:08 Why Doing Self Work Matters 08:40 Why You Need to Slow Down to Save Time 13:03 How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship 17:03 First Date Impressions Aren’t Always Accurate 21:26 How Do You Define Real Human Connection? 24:33 Do You Fully Understand Your Partner? 28:24 Learn to Communicate Your Desires 31:26 This is What Happens When You Don’t Communicate 35:24 Why We’re Unreliable Narrators of Our Story 37:52 Be Consistent with Your Boundaries 42:36 We All Want to Be Liked 45:46 You’re Not Ready to Marry Yet 49:51 Practice Being Your True Self All the Time 52:36 The Blind Spots of Dating 57:08 The Truth About Future Tripping 01:00:10 How Do You Feel About the Other Person? 01:01:33 The 7-Year Mark of Marriages 01:03:50 Can Having Children Save a Marriage? 01:07:35 In-Law Issues is a Couple Issue 01:12:01 The Concept of Feeling Felt 01:16:50 How Long Can You Tolerate Disrespect from Your Partner? Episode Resources: Lori Gottlieb | YouTube Lori Gottlieb | Instagram Lori Gottlieb | Website Dear Therapists Podcast Maybe You Should Talk to Someone See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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1:23:16
4 Simple Habits to Boost Focus & Stop Getting Distracted
Do you ever try focusing on just one thing at a time? What’s one way you avoid distractions? Today, Jay’s diving into a struggle we all know too well: distraction. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling on your phone without even thinking about it, you’re definitely not alone. Jay breaks down why it’s so hard to stay focused in a world full of constant notifications and packed schedules. But this episode isn’t about making us feel guilty—instead, it’s about giving us simple, doable strategies to actually make focus easier. Jay’s packed this episode with practical tips, like creating “no-phone zones” at home and setting tech-free times during the day to really be present. One of the standout strategies he shares is the Pomodoro Technique—working in short, focused bursts with breaks in between to keep your brain sharp and productive. Jay’s main message? Real productivity isn’t about doing more, faster—it’s about doing things better. He even shares some unique Ayurvedic advice, like chewing each bite 32 times (yes, really!) to emphasize how slowing down can improve our lives. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Slow Down for Better Productivity How to Stay Present in Conversations How to Find Calm by Unplugging How to Build Stronger Focus Habits How to Reclaim Your Attention By setting intentional boundaries, slowing down, and practicing mindfulness, we can take back our attention in a way that enhances productivity, deepens our relationships, and brings peace to our daily lives. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:46 Have You Been Feeling More Distracted? 04:03 What Research Says About the Decline in Focus 06:12 Majority of Us Can’t Multitask 09:00 Doing Things Slower Makes Better Progress 11:43 #1: The Pomodoro Technique 13:38 #2: No Tech Zones, No Tech Times 15:56 #3: Go For a Walk, Stay Off Your Phone 20:34 #4: Finish What You StartSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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26:01
Alicia Keys: 5 Ways to Overcome Self Doubt & Build Confidence Within
How do you handle negative self-talk? What helps you overcome self-doubt? Today, Jay sits down with Grammy Award-winning artist Alicia Keys as she shares her journey of self-discovery, resilience, and holistic living. Alicia founded Keys SoulCare, a skincare line emphasizing holistic well-being, and is a co-founder of the initiative She Is the Music, advocating for gender equality in the music industry. The conversation sheds light into Alicia's evolution from a young girl with dreams to an icon balancing a multifaceted career. Jay and Alicia discuss the highs and lows of fame, navigating self-doubt, and the pressures of public life, providing listeners with valuable insights on managing stress and fostering a positive self-image. Alicia reflects on her childhood fears and the challenges of finding self-worth, candidly revealing how these experiences shaped her. She emphasizes the importance of staying grounded through practices like affirmations, journaling, and mindful rituals—habits that help her stay true to herself amid a whirlwind career. Jay and Alicia then talk about the beauty of affirmations and the importance of letting go of perfectionism, a journey that led Alicia to adopt a more holistic approach to life. In her partnership with husband Swizz Beatz, she finds a harmonious balance of "flow" and "design," where they support each other's growth and freedom. This dynamic extends to their parenting style, where they teach their children gratitude and self-acceptance while instilling a sense of humility and grace. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Embrace Your True Self How to Overcome Self-Doubt and Fear How to Find Confidence Within Yourself How to Turn Negative Thoughts into Positivity How to Discover Your Inner Strength How to Set Boundaries for Self-Care How to Be Kind to Yourself How to Trust Your Own Choices The journey through self-doubt, fears, and external pressures highlights the importance of staying grounded, trusting intuition, and letting go of the need to seek others' approval. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 03:54 What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? 05:34 When You Have the Need to Protect Yourself 09:02 From Being Doubtful to Becoming Curious 13:43 What Is Your Affirmation Today? 15:30 Stop Being Mean to Yourself 19:06 Finding the Will to Love Your Own Skin 26:49 Spend More Time with Yourself 32:14 The Gifts and the Gaps 36:19 What Have You Learned From Your Partner? 38:06 Having Healthy Conflict in Your Relationship 45:53 Finding Balance Between Control and Flow 47:51 The Love for Crystals 51:32 Losing the Ability to Trust Yourself 57:15 What Are Your Go-To Rituals to Feel Better? 01:00:08 Teach Your Children to Practice Gratitude 01:03:45 Allow Other People to Speak and Just Listen 01:05:22 Creating Safe Space for Children 01:09:35 Hell’s Kitchen on Broadway 01:15:19 Be Clear with Your Vision 01:22:12 How Have You Protected Yourself from Fame and Success? 01:26:32 Alicia in Final Five Episode Resources: Alicia Keys | Website Alicia Keys | YouTube Alicia Keys | Instagram Alicia Keys | Facebook Alicia Keys | TikTok See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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1:32:26
Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?
Are you open to just being friends with an ex? Do you think they want the same kind of friendship? Today, Jay’s diving into a question we've all probably wrestled with at some point: can you really stay friends with an ex? He kicks things off by laying down some ground rules, pointing out that not every ex is friendship material, especially if there was any toxicity or harm in the relationship. For those open to trying a platonic bond post-breakup, he highlights the real-life complexities and the level of emotional maturity it takes to make it work. Jay also brings in some interesting science, sharing that studies show people stay connected with their exes for reasons like security, convenience, keeping things civil, or even unresolved feelings. But each of these reasons can get messy, and Jay explains that often, the urge to stay friends might have more to do with wanting a sense of safety or familiarity than with genuine friendship. In this episode, you'll learn: How to Decide if an Ex Deserves Friendship How to Set Boundaries with an Ex How to Manage Shared Friends Post-Breakup How to Avoid Using Friendship to Win Them Back How to Avoid Hurting Your Ex Twice Sometimes, the boldest and most courageous thing you can do is to walk away, taking the lessons with you and leaving the rest behind. Focus on what makes you feel good and helps you build the life you truly want. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:52 Not Every Ex Deserves Friendship 04:36 Four Core Reasons People Stay Friends with Their Exes 09:30 Four Ways to Know Being Friends with an Ex Won’t Work 13:52 How to Start Being Friends with an Ex? 18:33 Friends and Family Can be Casualties of a Breakup 21:41 Establish New Rules of Engagement 22:50 Consider the Welfare of ChildrenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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25:17
Dr. David Spiegel: 10-MINUTE Hypnosis Hack to Rewire Your Brain & Reduce Stress 80% Faster
How do you usually handle stress? Have you tried hypnosis for stress? Today, Jay with Dr. David Spiegel, a leading expert in psychiatry and behavioral sciences, to explore the transformative power of hypnotherapy. Dr. Spiegel, with over 45 years of experience in clinical and research fields, shares profound insights into the science behind hypnosis, dispelling myths and misconceptions. He explains how hypnosis is a natural, self-directed process that allows individuals to tap into heightened focus, manage pain, reduce stress, and address deep-seated traumas. The conversation begins with Dr. Spiegel explaining the foundations of hypnosis, highlighting its ability to narrow one’s focus, similar to a telephoto lens, and create a dissociative state where one can temporarily suspend self-limiting beliefs. This unique focus enables users to challenge habitual thoughts and reframe experiences. Dr. Spiegel shares real-life success stories, such as a war veteran who found peace with traumatic memories and individuals overcoming chronic pain and stress using hypnosis. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Sleep Better Using Hypnosis How to Improve Focus by Narrowing Attention How to Process Trauma Safely with Hypnosis How to Use Visualization to Relieve Stress How to Focus Your Attention Deeply How to Filter Out Pain with Hypnosis By learning how to access a focused, relaxed state, you can reshape your response to pain, manage stress more effectively, and explore emotions or memories that might otherwise feel overwhelming. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:17 What is Hypnosis 05:08 How Beneficial Hypnosis is For You? 09:14 What Happens to Your Brain During Hypnosis 14:40 Can You Control Other People with Hypnosis? 16:13 Is It Possible to Hypnotize Anyone? 26:14 You’re Still in Control of Your Body 31:28 How Can Hypnotherapy After Memory Recall? 38:29 Guided Hypnotherapy at Home is Possible 40:59 Let Your Brain Heal Your Body 43:34 The Worst Mental Case Under Hypnosis 50:26 We Lose the Hypnotic Ability as We Age 55:39 How Hypnosis Can Help You Focus More 57:38 David on Final Five Episode Resources: Reveri | YouTube Reveri | Instagram Reveri | Facebook Reveri | LinkedIn Reveri | Website See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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1:02:49

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

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